I’m Worth it! Your Worth It!

by Natasha Botkin 

Self-esteem can be defined by Webster’s dictionary as a noun self–es·teem \-ə-ˈstēm\ : a feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities.

Self worth can be defined by Webster’s dictionary as noun \-ˈwərth\: a feeling that you are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect.

Some may say they are the same; some may same they differ from one another.  Instead of focusing on this, let’s focus on a key word; both of the definitions begin with the word feeling.

Let’s define feeling via Webster’s dictionary as noun feel·ing \ˈfē-liŋ\: an awareness by your body of something in it or on it: an emotional state or reaction.

Therefore, a feeling is an awareness by your body, a sense, a presence, a vibe.

I have known individuals who have loads of outward self-esteem, but deep down inside are screaming for self-worth. This is the body receiving divine knowledge that something is amiss.  Emotionailty is that force of a prideful ego dispersing lies.  Sorry, Charlie the Sunkist Tuna, ego lies, deceives and creates a falsehood that is not of divine truth.  

Breaking the belief and pattern that unfolds is as deep as the depth of where a tuna lives.  One needs to dive deep to unfold their truth.  The feelings that one just does not wish to feel.

In my collaboration with 30 other Authors “The Wisdom of Midlife Women 2,”  I share my story, “Feelings of Resilience.”  In fact what I am now bravely sharing is that this story was almost left tabled and not birthed.  When it showed, my ego wanted to scream and kick like a two-year old having a tantrum.  I had to step back and dive deep; when I emerged, my story was powerful, ready to be shared and shown to the those would enjoy this sharing.  

Easier said than done, right!  

I understand in ways that most may not realize.  Once upon a time, I wore a cloak of invisibility afraid to show the world my true abilities.  As a child I was ridiculed by friends and family.  Now, I value my divine gifts; this is their loss. and I am here to shine my love, light and strength.  Our powerful divine did not mistake my worth as others did.

The divine bequeathed me with an enormous amount of gifts.  One is being an Empath.  Before I dove deep for the story “Feelings of Resilience, I had this false sense that as an empath, I would take what others could not handle those energies/feelings left me tired and worn out.  I did not deserve this, this is not what this gift is about.  So, diving that I believed to be deep, gently guided this was not deep enough, oh jeeze; my Beloved’s voice and scuba diving knowledge of the human world, right by my side; “I am here ‘My Love.’  It’s okay, you’ll be okay.  There’s a storm brewing, you know what you must do, and even though I cannot be there with you, I am still here and will monitor from afar; you are not alone, you are never alone.”

So dive, I went, it is what I must do!  I dive, further and further and I rest swimming amongst creatures of the unknown.  I am ready to submerge, I know that spiritually my BeLoved will be there with the divine, angels, Mother Mary and Yesuah.  When I submerged they cradled me and helped me to better understand what just happened on the conscious level.

The story emerges, so does my worth in a way that is incredible, words cannot describe what is happening; it is a feeling, me taking back my life, my song, my dance. The greatest moment of clarity was visiting Ikea with a friend; she turns after we leave and says, what is different.  I smile as I know what happened.  One day I will share.

The greatest gift that the divine gave to me at that moment was the return of feeling.  Self worth tackling what once toppled me; now I walk amongst crowds and do not absorb their energies.  Rather, I honor and treasure myself to shine my divine light and divine love at full strength so that others may also feel this beautiful gift.  The other divine gift, the ability to do so without absorbing their “stuff.”  Me standing like a beacon of love and light shining for all to see and loving my worth to know that all is well- my power turned on, and I no longer need to “absorb” every little energy; these need a special location and I can deflect this to where it belongs; it does not belong to me as I am worth so much more and cherish myself by honoring my divine worth.  

May you too, honor and cherish all that you are! May you too, turn on your power! 

Much Love, Much Light, and Magical Blessings, 

Natasha 

Needs of an Empath

By Natasha Botkin

Empathy is the ability to share and understand another’s emotions.  An empath of the “psychic” nature is someone who can pick up on what others may not feel or see.  They are able to receive the non-visual, non-verbal cues that another individual is feeling pain, fear, or joy. This can occur with the “knowing or sensing” what another can feel, such as what is in one’s aura.

One of my many qualities is being an empath and shielding has become major for me.  As my energy levels have ascended up the spiral and with each level up, I found it more and more difficult to be around others.  It was like moths to a light, people would be pulled to be near me, my light.  Then, me feeling horrible as I walked away.

My first line of defense was to place a white light of protection prayer on me each and every day.  Often finding that this was not enough.  Me pleading with the angels, why is it so strong, what can I do. My next step was to submerge myself in a sea salt bath with uplifting essential oils; I found that rose and geranium were my go to, along with my favorite lavender.  My final step was crystals.  There were days, where it seemed I was wearing more crystals than clothing.  My favorite clear crystal, kyanite, amethyst, ruby and diamonds.

Yet, this was not helping.  It almost felt like a self-sabotage.  Sadly, it was a past lifetime suffering mechanism.  Why in the world would one do to themselves.  In truth, it was a moment of guilt of a sin.  Until a moment of time not knowing what was transpiring.

Thus, me turning deeply inward.  Diving deeper into emotions than ever before.  Pulling the essence of past lives with me, and coming to the truth.  A moment of anger, of hurt and shame.  I use the term sin; it was not a sin, a mistake that hurt me and my BeLoved.  Carrying this baggage in a nonsense type of manner.  One day confessing my sin to our modern selves.   My BeLoved Twin flame turning to me, “Are you asking for forgiveness?”  I shake my head yes, I have no words.  His sweet, gentle words, “Of course I forgive you.  You need not ask.”  As he looks deep into my eyes and pulls me to him, “My sweet silly girl.”

The karmic tension washing the mistake away. My aura clearing away this stage.  Me just realizing, that since that moment; I have only taken 1 sea salt bath, and the amount of crystals greatly reduced to three types. A red ruby, 2 diamonds and a clear crystal.  I still place the white light of protection everyday, but not in manner of fright, but in a manner of need.

I walk into a store and yes the moths still flock to me like a light.  Gone is the need to absorb their pain, their angst.  They are near, feel the light and we all move along.

If you are an empath, ask yourself what you can do.  I have mentioned things that worked for me.  Sea Salt bath with essential oils, a white light of protection prayer and crystals.  This can help.  Be sure to ask you, what do you need. Maybe, just maybe there is more to this than you realize.

Much Love and Light!

Magical Blessings, Natasha

Peaceful Ascension

By Natasha Botkin 

Recently as I drove down the road watching commuters battling out for a space in the line of traffic, I sat back and thought why?  Why does one cram themselves into a line that does not go much further than one car length.  This brought me back to a conversation with my spiritual teacher.  Steer the course, do not ver to the left or right.  A song plays over the speakers, the lyrics of a change, a battle, of peace….

Which brought me back to a moment, a moment of an exchange with a wise woman.  A stranger really to me, all of my life, I have people stop and tell me their life stories.  My children often asking why would a stranger tell me that?  I have just accepted that people come to me to tell their stories.  Sometimes, they need a wise voice of innate wisdom to shine forward without judgement, without conviction, a person to listen, to help them release this.  

This lady looked at me and said, “Wow an ascended one, I’ve never met one in person before and you look nothing like I would think an ascended one should look like.”  I remember looking at her and wondering, but not saying anything, as I knew she had a story that she would share; and what a beautiful story it was.  It wasn’t the story; it was what she said, this was years ago; “ascended, ascension; isn’t for  the faint of heart and it will take much energy, love and light dear one, be prepared as it will come and you will easily glide up the spiral.” 

At the time, I was preparing for a major divorce and custody battle.  Little did I know that was much easier than ascension.  My spiritual teacher will gently guide me, and yet the human psyche at first wanted the ego to rage, bark and scream.  Almost like a two-year old not being allowed to have a cookie before dinner.  Yet, this is going to happen, go with grace and it will come with ease.  Some has been filled full of ease, and some would be easier to deal with a two-year old having a tantrum.

Come back to peace, love and light.  In steps the next wise woman, I am walking in the store and ran right into her.  She remarks, “Darlin, get your head out of the clouds.”  I look her, smile and say,“Ha clouds, that too easy, try galactic travel or what dimension did I float off to, traversing the mundane of today’s humanistic mess.”  She smiled and replies, “Ascension is not easy, especially in the modern ways.  You do not look like one, so many may not even realize. It’s not the appearance; it’s the light, the love that matters.” 

I am a special education, so I am a pro at what is called “wait time.”  Well, I am a pro with others, “wait time,”  me well in truth, I am not usually a slow learner, and  yet, may need an accelerated IEP to slow my horses, so to speak. (As my spiritual teacher often says, “Dear the Aries in you.”)   I look at her and wait, she smiles a big grin and says, “Dear one, you are doing much better than you give yourself credit for; however patience is necessary. The biggest patience that you need is your own transformation to ascension. you are almost across that bridge to a major level up, be patient.  Years ago, you were told that you do not look like an ascended one, in truth, you’re a more modern version. Your spiritual mentor has recently given you knowledge of the changes that will come.”  Then she smiles and says, “Be Kind, Rewind,” and instance is gone, I look around the aisle and do not see her.

Slowly, I approach the checkout; barely able to speak to anyone, and yet like moths to the light people dance around me.  I pay for my items and sit in my vehicle.  No thoughts, nothing, just sit and allow the wisdom that was also downloaded settle and absorb into my light.

The latest wise woman, was the same week as recent the crystal light activation January 2015, the full moon and just after the winter solstice.  It has taken me a bit to settle into the next step.  One moment, I am walking in the divine feminine goddess of innate wisdom that heralds the divine wisdom of love and light; and the next I am submerged in a hot bath trying to release the negative energies that seems to want to invade my aura.

And in truth, I do not wear flowy robes, probably never will. I am more of a mover. singer, dancer with the heart of a youth filled full of love and light. Hence the comment “Be Kind, Rewind.” Go back to my heart, my joy, my peaceful grace.  One thing that has come about with the crystal light activation is peace, harmony and joy.  We need much more of it.  If ya feel like dancing, dance; if you feel like singing, sing.  Life is to be lived and enjoyed with a beauty that is deep within us all.

Magical Blessings of love and light!

Natasha

 

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Crystal Light Activation

by Natasha  Botkin 

January 3,2015, there was a crystal light activation that entered Earth’s atmosphere.  Those who can see, hear, feel at first wondered what had happened.  We just celebrated the new year, preparing for the full moon and what is happening.  My ascension and sensitivity went to an extreme.  I felt like I had been literally punched, my face, my jaw, my skull ached; the masculine seeping, weeping as it leaving me.

Here comes the full moon, the intensity settled, yet I could feel something brewing just underneath.  My vibrational manner changed.  I cried at a drop of a hat, worst of all unable to shield my empath ways, taking on and absorbing so many negative energies.  Others around me who are also sensitive were also affected, many of these individuals crying, unsure as to why.   The most difficult moments, how do I explain this unknown, especially when the unknown are children?

I felt my heart space expand and grow even more.  People would say,”Did you know that your crystal is glowing” or they would look away not wanting to admit to what they just witnessed.  My heart had the most tremendously, wonderful energy pulsing through.  The harmonics grew, those who have ascended are growing, opening, preparing for the next wave.  This is just the beginning to a new wave, a new way, more heart, more grace, more love, more light, more peace.  

If you are one of those who are effected, please seek solace from those who can and will support you.  This is absolutely beautiful, and necessary; yet it can leave one overwhelmed. Enjoy something that brings you joy.

Much love and light to you!

Magical Blessings

Natasha

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