They Overrode the Buttons

by Natasha Botkin 

Angel with heart rose

During last night’s dream time, a moment of truth shined through.  It began with a moment of the past – way in the past.  A mixture of high school, people who I once knew, and have not seen in a long time. Some are friends on Facebook, a face at the grocery store.  I wait in observer mode, I am placed in a chair without a name tag as all the other chairs have name tags.  This does not bother me, as I used my present name, not a maiden name; so they would not label my chair as such.

I am not sure as to the length of time that emerged, this was not important.  Other details surfaced, again not of too much importance, almost like the extras of a movie.  Then a person I went to school with from kindergarten through 12th grade showed, requested me to follow him.  There is a moment of confusion, he wasn’t a “friend,” we just attended school together; often in the same classes.  He was not allowed to be my friend, via the “mean girl crew.”  I did not fit in, and he just went along.

We enter a darkened small space, I see the buttons.  Wait, we are in an elevator.  He steps away, “they” overrode the buttons.  Others get off the elevator, this “male classmate,” says do not leave; turns his head over his shoulder; “besides; they have overridden the buttons; you will depart soon.”  I did stop the “male classmate,” Why did you appear?”  He does not respond in voice, and yet I hear “You will soon know.” 

My memory returns to an email. “You are here to defy stereo-typing.” I am more than aware, that I will ascend.  How much further up the spiral or shall we say elevator, I was not sure at that moment.

The elevator whirls, I feel my energy increase, the vibrational matter more crystalline.  The door opens, I am on top of a mountain, stadium, this does not matter.  I look down and see others; not in a condescending manner, more of a look at all who will come. I look to all of the Archangels who surround me with pure divine love and light, I say, “You overrode my buttons, the matter does not matter, I am here, I accept, I am here…all I do ask is now what….” 

I awaken in a bed I know and yet, realize that nothing from this moment on will be as it once was.  Today, I will rest.  Tomorrow I was planning on going to the Farmer’s Market and wonder well….

Rest, relax, you will have much work to do soon….quite soon….rest dear one, your living has just begun. I am okay, with the unknown; what will be will be. I will fluctuate more to the feminine; mother is near….

I do ask, “Why that “male classmate” Why not my BeLoved that once showed me a movie – ‘Click.'” My higher self responds meditate.  Through meditation I am aware that the “male classmate” has surfaced each time I have a major transition in my life, and that is all that musters through.  Triangle Heart

So, I am off to the unknown, living moment by moment, step by step; my higher self-will guide along with all the divine, angels, fairies, mystical creatures, magical creatures, Galactic Counsel and Federation of Light.  Those who will hear, will hear, those who will see will see the love and light that shine through the vastness of which is me. 

Much Love, Much Light and Magical Blessings,

Natasha

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Someone Called Me Brave

by Natasha Botkin

Winne the Pooh Brave Quote

The other day someone called me brave, and this stopped me in my thoughts.  Me brave, how? 

As my sister put it, “You are standing up for you.” You see I’ve been bullied and harassed, and this is not acceptable for anyone to encroach on another.

After my sister said this, Archangel Michael presents it another way. “Sweet girl, you have the heart of a child, but the bravery of a lion and do not get started on that mama grizzly bear.”  I smirk, because it is true.  In my life, I have had to face many obstacles.  Cancer that the doctors said I shouldn’t have survived, domestic violence and being the mother of two very dear crystal children (aka Autism), there is more much more.  God gives his bravest, most incredible individuals the toughest storms to weather.  God, can you please let me have some sun.  Shessh, I’ve weathered a few too many storms and this ship wants to come home: a life of grace, love, peace, joy and harmony.

I have not quite figured out if this blog is personal or for business.  You see, I have both.  Then, it dawned on me; yep it is always darkest before the dawn. That out of the darkness greatness will amass.  If I share my story, then hopefully another will have the courage to face an obstacle and free themselves.  It does not matter the obstacle, an obstacle is an obstacle.

I will live to spring forth a beautiful new life as I take this giant leap of faith.  I can see my angels, they have not left me a net; this time they have chosen to help me fly. my angels have given me wings to fly. I fly high to my mountain, hover and await the next steps to begin anew.

Much Love, Much Light and Magical Blessings,

Natasha

Refresh, Renew…

by Natasha Botkin                              Violet white lady breath

“Clear the soul, to clear the mind; clear the mind to clear the slate.  Wipe the slate clean and begin anew; that was then and this is now.”  -Amel

It seems that where ever I turn, I look and something is new.  Even if it is old, it is now new to me.  So much released that did not belong.  Forms do not need recognition.  Give it time, give it form; it solidifies, should it….

I was recently speaking with my BeLoved and he brought up an argument that we had years back.  I had no knowledge of what he speaks; and yet when he gave it form, I saw, felt, very much disliked the discord that it was.  He looked at me, “You really do not know, nor remember, how is this possible?”

To truly resonate in my higher self, that which does not belong to the dream fades, dissolves, melts away.  Yes, his words brought forth the time, the form, the angst.  At one point tears streaming down my eyes, no please no, don’t bring it to life.  Me trying to wash away the form; my BeLoved ever attentive, “don’t bite your tongue, just say it.”  Me responding, “I am choosing my words very carefully. As soon as this conversation is done, this will end, the form, the time will be done…thy will be done, it will no longer live, breathe no more; it does not belong to you, to me, to us.”  Yes this conversation was very much necessary; the time and form bringing forth what happened to be resolved.  Grateful that it is now resolved, no more; thy will be done, gone, poof, vanish…..and ever thankful for my patient BeLoved, so patient, so tender, so gentle.

How often does one resonate with something over and over to breathe life into a form, a time that really should be shapeless, formless.  Bringing forth to life just what one does not want.

This is not easy to do. I, often find that those who have ascended and vibrate at a higher level understand my pause. Those who have not, wish to rush me, and I refuse to engage in their antics.  “That was then and this is now,” – Amel, rings true for me in many forums.

Take that moment to breathe, to pause, to choose your words.  Only then can you be, say what you are meant to say and be in the ‘just be’ -Amel,  moment. That is what is important, all the rest will just fall away as it needs.

Much Love and Light.

Magical Blessings, Natasha

The Past of One’s Mistakes Can Herald Through the Times….Release dear one

By Natasha Botkin

Natasha (Princess) and Roy (Knight)Recently, I was discussing with another how my past lives keep showing up.  Sometimes one at a time, sometimes many all at once.  One thing is for sure, the divine has me on overdrive and there are days where keeping up with human experiences are beyond overwhelming.

A week ago, I was underneath not one, but two different sinks to clear blocked drains.  As I am attempting to put the pipes back together a sob commences and the feeling of get ready shines through.  Oh no, water means deep emotions and how deep is this going to go.  It is not like we are ever given a definitive releasing map. It is, just the know that something is going to happen, and the happening will arise as needed.

How deep did this go.  Centuries back, back to when all of the troubles began for me and my twin flame. One thing happened which led my BeLoved to not act like himself and this led me to not act like myself.  I cannot say why I did not confess my sins (not really a sin–rather a massive mistake).  Instead, I have been trying correct this mistake over and over. My loving heart, shamed, how could I have allowed this to happen: I am of love.  It is almost like the movie “Groundhog Day,” except instead of reliving one particular moment.  Mine catapulted into lifetime after lifetime, trying so hard to hide this enormous mistake from my BeLoved, maybe this time, I can correct it, and thus, only to be heralded to untimely death after death.

Now, when I mention how deep–Oh it was deeper than the depths of most oceans.  Funny part about all of this, because I have to allocate the humor to something so large, is that my BeLoved in this lifetime loves to scuba dive.  One thing he taught me was no matter how intense the storm is at or near the surface, if you go down x amount of feet; yep, I have forgotten the exact amount, and yes he is spiritually smiling, as how am I ever going to learn to scuba dive, if I cannot recall the depth meters. The water will be calm X amount of feet down.

So when for the fourth time in a week, 2 clogged pipes, a clogged garbage disposal and a flooded basement. I decided it was time to give my BeLoved’s idea a whirl.  You see, my body reacted to all of this in a way that no longer serves me.  Anger exuded from me, and this left me in pain, not an emotional, a physical pain.  I have moved to my divine feminine and to feel the rage, anger, shame move through me brought out great amounts of physical pain.  My spiritual mentor helped me clear many energies, as this was not fully clearing with me–my BeLoved also physically pained and not behaving like himself…It was too deep, too intense.  So, she cleared the way for me to submerge myself into the deeper waters going down, down, down.

Dreamtime work brought forth my answers, my shame, my guilt; the worst part what will happen when my BeLoved twin flame realizes what I did.  Will he hate me, will he fear me, will he banish our love?  The beauty and surprise were “My silly girl, I have known all along, and have waited to hear the truth from you.  Why did you fear me?”  My response, “Do you wish to hear our truth or do you wish me to lie to you as all the others that fear you?”  My BeLoved, “Truth, and when did you ever fear me?”  My repose,  “One because of your mistake, you behaved in a way that was not like you; thus I made my mistake and I am ashamed of my mistake, I went into hiding, like a lost scared little girl and with each lifetime since have been put to death; deaths that did not belong to me, if I just shared with you–the truth. Now that I have come into my truth-I refuse to hide; my cloak of invisibility gone-I stand and shine my full glory of love and light for all to see!”

I have come to realize that the angst that created my BeLoved and my separation of this lifetime, stems from mistakes of centuries ago.  Spiritually, I have made amends with my BeLoved twin flame; I do not know have the knows of this lifetime and can only pray that his esoteric form can truly forgive me and accept my love, my light, my powerful high priestess self. For to know me is to love me.

Much Love and Light

Magical Blessings, Natasha

Please Be Patient, Under Construction

By Natasha Botkin 

Atlantis Waterfall

I recently saw this post somewhere “Currently under construction, thank you for your patience.” –unknown.  I am unsure as to the where this was posted.  Where it was posted does not matter.  What matters is the effect, maybe I am brave or immensely foolish to share this here, either way, during a truly difficult moment of outside sources plaguing me, I was trying to be the steady ocean; yet, the waves began to pummel again to me.

After hours of this, I reached out to a friend; who texted me don’t have a pity party.  Oh really, hmmm.  First, let’s define pity: the feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering and misfortunes of others.  So no pity party in fact, what caused me the duress was the images of my BeLoved (my Twin Flame) and all of our beautiful moments together.  Which lead to why doesn’t he wish to speak to me, the divine response was “fear, fear of you; if he has to accept you as you are, he has to accept his truth.  My dear you can be quite a bit for a weakened one, your powers are immense and ever reaching in ways that most cannot even begin to muster. Be patient dear one.” 

Then I hear, “Should we begin to pop the popcorn.” Oh so not, funny right now dear angels, my sense of humor flushed down the toilet and out to a rocky sea.  It takes me a bit to settle; the outside is pouring into me, others egos are crushing; seriously, check yourself before you wish to be all mighty, cause you’d be surprised at how some enlightened individuals behave.  Which brought me back to my human work as a behavioral specialist, and this helped me settle into my higher self, the blonde parts of my hair changing into the crystalline silver essence of Amel shining forward.  Oh Lord, if Amel is here with the angels, I know what is about to come, the elders of the realm, Mary Magdalene’s image and then Jesuah’s image and christ light expansion.  Fully being bathed in christ light, crystal light and the love that cradles me is beautiful beyond compare.

My ego barks, I just went through a re-birth, please not again. .  I have two choices, I surrender to this factor or I rage an ego battle.  Yep, I am in no way going to behave like my BeLoved; they warned him, he choose not to listen and now has the effects.  That’s the part that one should realize; we all have a destiny, we either go or they will give to us “free will,” and then steer us back on course.  Our course can be simple and graceful or it can be awkward and difficult.  Ultimately that is “free choice.”

My human form surrenders to the fact that I am about to undergo massive construction.  Do I know where this will take me.  No, I do not.  It is befitting that this is occurring at the same time as the new moon. In fact a very powerful new moon.  In truth, the divine love and light that surrounds me also helps propel me even further up the spiral.  It is now, that I am more aware that in order to accept this new growth, the old had to strip away to make room for the expansion of heart, holding space in a most auspicious way.  The being old patterns,old beliefs; they do not belong, they needed to go like a hole in a sock.  The toe pokes out and you think I’ll throw that sock away or darn it; darn it in thought and rip that sock off, cause the new one will be soft, simple, graceful.

Be Kind BattleAll I ask, is please be patient with others.  As we are all under construction.  In my last blog, patience was the divine ideal that shined forward.  Again this heralds true.  “Be patient dear ones, the best is yet to come; a soul knows no time.  A soul is timeless; it is human ego that places a time; disallow and breath, go inside, allow.” 

Much Love and Light

Magical Blessings

Natasha

Crystal Light Activation

by Natasha  Botkin 

Crystal Light Elder

January 3,2015, there was a crystal light activation that entered Earth’s atmosphere.  Those who can see, hear, feel at first wondered what had happened.  We just celebrated the new year, preparing for the full moon and what is happening.  My ascension and sensitivity went to an extreme.  I felt like I had been literally punched, my face, my jaw, my skull ached; the masculine seeping, weeping as it leaving me.

Here comes the full moon, the intensity settled, yet I could feel something brewing just underneath.  My vibrational manner changed.  I cried at a drop of a hat, worst of all unable to shield my empath ways, taking on and absorbing so many negative energies.  Others around me who are also sensitive were also affected, many of these individuals crying, unsure as to why.   The most difficult moments, how do I explain this unknown, especially when the unknown are children?

I felt my heart space expand and grow even more.  People would say,”Did you know that your crystal is glowing” or they would look away not wanting to admit to what they just witnessed.  My heart had the most tremendously, wonderful energy pulsing through.  The harmonics grew, those who have ascended are growing, opening, preparing for the next wave.  This is just the beginning to a new wave, a new way, more heart, more grace, more love, more light, more peace.  Crystal light heart

If you are one of those who are effected, please seek solace from those who can and will support you.  This is absolutely beautiful, and necessary; yet it can leave one overwhelmed. Enjoy something that brings you joy.

Much love and light to you!

Magical Blessings

Natasha

Pure Tenderness

By Natasha Botkin 

We are faced with moments.  The beauty is to ‘just be.’  Just be in the moment is much easier said than done.  Even with the best of intentions a mind can wander and voila, the ‘just be’ moment has now shifted to the ego feeding.

Recently, I lay in my BeLoved’s arms feeling happy and peacefully content with unconditional love.  I could feel his soul happily dancing right beside me, and yet, I could also feel his ego stirring.  How did we get to this place.  How did one text turn into twenty-fours hours of two individuals spending a wonderful moment in time.  Neither of us were sure; one thing was for certain, we wanted to enjoy our time together.

As his ego complained, I laid in the state of ‘just be’ and allowed my soul to encompass the totality of our Twin Flame selves; one soul, two lives. Celebrating our love in the way that suited us best at that moment.

twin-flame-partnership

My mind drifted to, we signed up to do this dance before we were even born.  I have loved you in numberless forms, in numberless times in life after life, age after forever my heart knows better than my mind…

I could tell when my BeLoved was speaking from his soul; understanding the totality of what Tru was saying to his BeLoved Amel. He used the word when we separated, his soul and just being.  Then fear would encroach on his ego and the ego would spit out its venom and the human form cringed.  It was not easy, at one point, I rattled back “we cannot hide who we truly are,” and my higher self walked in and brought out words of love. Creating a special space of ‘just be’ in the moment with the man who you love; and enjoy this moment, leaving us with more graceful moments.  My BeLoved’s soul reaching out to hold me so dearly and tenderly; a beautiful hug and kiss, moments of our gentle, tender love.

What will happen, what will be…the essense is return to the truth of the heart, soul and allow joy, peace and harmony to freely flow in a playful manner; just be.

Much Love and Light

Magical Blessings

Natasha