Nobodys’ Thinking About You

By Natasha Botkin 

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A-ha, hopefully the title caught your eye.  No, this is not a put down about you or how much you are unloved.  Rather this is a moment of “nobody was ever thinking about you, anyhow.” – Elizabeth Gilbert quote of an unknown individual.  

Where did this stem from? The other day while I am walking along, my higher self and I are internally conversing, when I hear, “Goodness, just how old are you?” A lady had chosen in this moment, to decipher my wardrobe, but that is hindsight to her next comment, “I love when a woman has balls!”  

My response was, “Okay, you have my attention, what gives?” Upon which she repsonds, You are fearless to walk along here dressed in this manner-everyone else is dressed in workout gear.” I look at my clothing, I have on a simple red dress, gray tights, black knee high boots and my favorite brown cloak; in fact I look down right cute.  Or maybe that is what she was referring, too.  We continue to converse about how so many people are afraid to just be themselves; they worry so much about what others may say or do.  So, I ask, “Why did you ask my age?”  She responds with, “Darling, you have an air of an old soul, and yet I feel a heart of a child, you must really confuse people.”  I chuckle, “You have no idea!” 

We parted from our conversation, and my higher self chimes in, “See sweet girl, you know what you must do- now go forth with the fearlessness that you hold within.” 

I leave you with, be you: Dance as if no one is watching, jump in those puddles, have fun; because in truth “nobody was thinking about you.” 

Much Love, Much Light and Magical Blessings, 

Natasha 

 

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Ode to the Stretch Mark

By Natasha Botkin 

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Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend,  “How did you do this alone, how were you a mom to not one, but two autistic boys, all on your own?  I honor you.”

I have always felt blessed that the divine choose me to be their mom.  Through the good, the bad and the ugly times; raising two autistic boys on my own was not easy: there were many moments of tears, a mama grizzly bear ready to swipe anyone who would harm her cubs.  Then there is the laughter, the joy of raising, guiding, seeing their shining moments.

My unproud moment was the affects, and I offer a sincere apology to all women.  I am sorry that I have pointed, mawked, and been down right ashamed of my stretch marks, my beloved honoring me, saying , “You would be gorgeous in a bikini.” My response, “Oh yuck, with these?  Yeah, no!”

Today, something stopped me in my tracks, I was looking and sighing at “them.”  Then, I read somewhere: “There are some women who wish that they had stretch marks, and have not been given that oppotunity….”

I am truly sorry to the divine, to my beautiful self and to all women.  No matter how you became a mother, that does not matter, you are a mom and that is the most important aspect.  However, with that said, as a tribute to all women, I will wear these stretch marks with pride and honor for all women, moms.

My request, is that you too, join in and honor all women and shine your stretch marks as the beauty that you truly are!!

white rosebud with pink tipsMuch Love, Much Light and Magical Blessings, 

                                            Natasha 

Shout Let It All Out

by Natasha Botkin 

Recently, I observed a lovely young woman walking across the parking lot.  Other drivers clearly annoyed that she seemed to be off in a distant thought or misery.  I patiently sat waiting for her to cross with her two young children.  The little girls dancing and singing, while their mom well- she looked as if she was a walking robot- someone who has given up.

Sadly, she did not even recognize that she had lost one of her shopping bags.  I hopped out of my vehicle, picked this up for her and asked if she needed anything.  Her response was anything, but demure, basically hollering at me “Get me out of this life,  I used to be like my girls happy and now I am beyond miserable, no one listens to me!”  She grabbed her shopping bag and stormed off.

I sat for a moment looking at my rear view mirror.  Tear popped into my eyes, for not only this beautiful young woman, but also for me.  In all honesty, I have been there.

As a child, I was so happy and free.  One could locate me hanging upside down in a tree (yes with my dress over my head, panties showing–whoopsie), splashing in a puddle, creating the most magical mud pies or dancing among the flowers, fairies and forest creatures.

Unfortunately, my family had no sense of how dearly special I am.  They found me annoying, too busy, too free.  Often, I would hear sit still.  Can’t you be quiet and finally, sit down and shut up.

In my teen years, I was often found to be at home all alone, singing at the top of my lungs trying to procure happiness of any kind and still would be told to be quiet. One day as a young woman, I sat down and shut up.  Was it due to the domestic violence, was it that no matter what I said, no one would listen?  I am not sure, a cloak of invisibility went on in the teen years and more so as a very, young mom, t-shirts, leggings, rarely did I dress up.

Then one day, my dress style began to show.  Something began to emerge, slowly and I mean slow as molasses, slowly. Better late, than never….

One day during a meeting, I spoke up, others shocked that I had said, what I had just said.  Internally, me saying enough, there is no reason, to sit idly by and be told to basically shut up via the admintrator. After the meeting, I, clearly recall a co-worker looking at me, and saying, “It’s about damn time your finally showed up.” 

From there, the cloak of invisibility began to feel heavy, hurt, headaches, migraines, neck aches, shoulder aches.  I slipped this off and went hmmm, maybe.  Slowly, the cloak of invisibility to sliding further and further until, it was off.  In real life, I do have a cloak, love it, but I know when to place this on and when to take it off.  There is no more hiding, I am here to shine, to shout, to let it all out.

Sorry fellows, this is for all the lovely, beautiful ladies who forgot their beauty.  In fact fellows, you all have mothers, sisters, lovers, partners, but most importantly, you have daughters.  Teach these beautiful young ladies to shine and shine in a beautiful manner!

Ladies. we deserve to sing from the most special places of our hearts: Light, shine, dance, free…. It’s Time!!

For some this may seem difficult, off. That’s okay, I am quite alright with my quirkiness.  It is a natural part of my shining beauty. We at the Magical  Blessings Healing Center would love to help you break out of your cocoon to shine. 

http://magicalblessingshealingcenter.com

Much Love, Much Light and Magical Blessings

Natasha