Nobodys’ Thinking About You

By Natasha Botkin 

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A-ha, hopefully the title caught your eye.  No, this is not a put down about you or how much you are unloved.  Rather this is a moment of “nobody was ever thinking about you, anyhow.” – Elizabeth Gilbert quote of an unknown individual.  

Where did this stem from? The other day while I am walking along, my higher self and I are internally conversing, when I hear, “Goodness, just how old are you?” A lady had chosen in this moment, to decipher my wardrobe, but that is hindsight to her next comment, “I love when a woman has balls!”  

My response was, “Okay, you have my attention, what gives?” Upon which she repsonds, You are fearless to walk along here dressed in this manner-everyone else is dressed in workout gear.” I look at my clothing, I have on a simple red dress, gray tights, black knee high boots and my favorite brown cloak; in fact I look down right cute.  Or maybe that is what she was referring, too.  We continue to converse about how so many people are afraid to just be themselves; they worry so much about what others may say or do.  So, I ask, “Why did you ask my age?”  She responds with, “Darling, you have an air of an old soul, and yet I feel a heart of a child, you must really confuse people.”  I chuckle, “You have no idea!” 

We parted from our conversation, and my higher self chimes in, “See sweet girl, you know what you must do- now go forth with the fearlessness that you hold within.” 

I leave you with, be you: Dance as if no one is watching, jump in those puddles, have fun; because in truth “nobody was thinking about you.” 

Much Love, Much Light and Magical Blessings, 

Natasha 

 

December 20, 2015-January 31, 2016 Opportunities

by Natasha Botkin 

 

 

We have many amazing gifts that are being bestowed upon us. 

What…just how is mercury retrograde a gift?   Awww dear hearts, it is truly a reflective gift.  There is a reason why it creates tension with electronics and communication with others.  This is a time to turn deeply inward and reflect the dark stillness of what your heart and soul whisper to you.

Luna, kicks this off with the full moon December 25, 2015 at the same time that mercury goes retrograde.  Often times, people are overly willing to release, release and release.  So much so, that you end up releasing too much, and yes that lesson will return with more power.

Hence why we have a spiral and not a tru path.  Please take this beautiful gift and enjoy.

Mother Mary

Mother Mary (who is no demoniational) is showing up with her love.  Ask her to cradle you in her Motherly Love.  The warrior angels are with Mother Mary, and they will help you to release what you request from them.

I cannot, stress enough to please take caution and to not be a in hurry; take mercury’s gift and honor yourself to gently reflect what that truly needs released. 

 

Much Love, Much Light and Magical Blessings, 

Natasha 

Receiving Does Not Make One Weak

Receiving Does Not Make One Weak

By Natasha Botkin

If we look at the genus name  or the eucalyptus flower, it is derived from the Greek eu, meaning “well”, and kalyptos, eucalyptus flowermeaning “cover.” This name refers to the well-covered flower buds – a very fruitful tree.  If we look to ancient symbolism this is a tree of wealthy abundance and foretelling.  If we look to an angelic meaning this about removing the barriers to allow your angels to assist you in receiving your miracles.

Almost a year ago, I was given the idea of “if you build it they will come.” Now, I have to admit, I took this a bit too literal and thought love the movie Field of Dreams and enjoy baseball; but have no desire to build a baseball field in the middle of a farm.  My angels find me quite humorous and shake their heads, no, no that is not what we mean.

Eventually, I did understand their meaning and this began an enormous journey.  Much of which is still progressing, much like a work in progress. I, so wish I could say that transformational mystery school of Atlantis was up and running. You see, I have had to learn to adjust to receiving.

One thing that I have a bad habit of, is being the naysayer and sage that people seek out; yet, do they truly help, assist me.  No, in truth they greedily grab the love and light, and my dear sweet soul is like, we are done with that.  You need to receive , there is no way you can continue on, alone on this journey.  I remind Amel, what about Tru.  She smiles, “Aw our BeLoved, what about him?”  My response, “he is supposed to join me in his esoteric form, and yet my BeLoved Twin Flame plays with the demonic ego allowing his ego to be fed of the lies; how will he ever join me, if he continues to allow the lies to hurt him, hurt me, hurt we.  One moment, we are in sync and all is well and the next, he is off lost in translation fueling himself with fear. ” Amel reminds me, “Patience dear one.” Add in a million sighs, yes I do have my own downward moments and that is one that makes me sigh a deep heavy, are you kidding me kind of sigh.

Sorry, I was off on a tangent.  Anyways, receiving is not easy for me.  I used to think due to old pattern and beliefs that it was a sign of weakness; “a strong person can do it all.” If I look to my maternal grandmother, she did it all, my maternal grandfather quite immature and held down a job, but that was about it.  Pretty much the same for the paternal grandparents as well.  So I learned to take care of me, by being independent.

One of my dear crystal children students recently told to me, “Ms. Botkin, you cannot do it all. You are tired by just trying to be you. Do people know how tough it is to do the things we cannot speak.  These stupid humans do not see, nor will they.”  Out of the mouth of babes!  Well said my dear one!

In truth, it was lies that my ego fed me.  I cannot do it all.  I am weary, I need help.  In steps that symbolic reminder from my angels of the sweet eucalyptus flower.  One this is about wealthy abundance and allowing me to receive.  This is a work in progress, one moment I receive a beautiful pillow from a friend and the next I am, oh dear.  As a child, I was the “do over” queen.  So I have to press the “do over” button and begin anew.

The eucalyptus flower calling out to me, reminding me. I am sitting back and allowing my angels to work their miracles with me, guide me by allowing the ability to receive.  As Archangel Michael has stated, “You are much stronger when you teach, step back and allow you students to do this on their own; however, dear, you also need to be the student of allowing and receiving. Miracles abound dear one.” 

May you also allow the ability to receive.  Much Love and Light!

Magical Blessings, Natasha

The Past of One’s Mistakes Can Herald Through the Times….Release dear one

By Natasha Botkin

Natasha (Princess) and Roy (Knight)Recently, I was discussing with another how my past lives keep showing up.  Sometimes one at a time, sometimes many all at once.  One thing is for sure, the divine has me on overdrive and there are days where keeping up with human experiences are beyond overwhelming.

A week ago, I was underneath not one, but two different sinks to clear blocked drains.  As I am attempting to put the pipes back together a sob commences and the feeling of get ready shines through.  Oh no, water means deep emotions and how deep is this going to go.  It is not like we are ever given a definitive releasing map. It is, just the know that something is going to happen, and the happening will arise as needed.

How deep did this go.  Centuries back, back to when all of the troubles began for me and my twin flame. One thing happened which led my BeLoved to not act like himself and this led me to not act like myself.  I cannot say why I did not confess my sins (not really a sin–rather a massive mistake).  Instead, I have been trying correct this mistake over and over. My loving heart, shamed, how could I have allowed this to happen: I am of love.  It is almost like the movie “Groundhog Day,” except instead of reliving one particular moment.  Mine catapulted into lifetime after lifetime, trying so hard to hide this enormous mistake from my BeLoved, maybe this time, I can correct it, and thus, only to be heralded to untimely death after death.

Now, when I mention how deep–Oh it was deeper than the depths of most oceans.  Funny part about all of this, because I have to allocate the humor to something so large, is that my BeLoved in this lifetime loves to scuba dive.  One thing he taught me was no matter how intense the storm is at or near the surface, if you go down x amount of feet; yep, I have forgotten the exact amount, and yes he is spiritually smiling, as how am I ever going to learn to scuba dive, if I cannot recall the depth meters. The water will be calm X amount of feet down.

So when for the fourth time in a week, 2 clogged pipes, a clogged garbage disposal and a flooded basement. I decided it was time to give my BeLoved’s idea a whirl.  You see, my body reacted to all of this in a way that no longer serves me.  Anger exuded from me, and this left me in pain, not an emotional, a physical pain.  I have moved to my divine feminine and to feel the rage, anger, shame move through me brought out great amounts of physical pain.  My spiritual mentor helped me clear many energies, as this was not fully clearing with me–my BeLoved also physically pained and not behaving like himself…It was too deep, too intense.  So, she cleared the way for me to submerge myself into the deeper waters going down, down, down.

Dreamtime work brought forth my answers, my shame, my guilt; the worst part what will happen when my BeLoved twin flame realizes what I did.  Will he hate me, will he fear me, will he banish our love?  The beauty and surprise were “My silly girl, I have known all along, and have waited to hear the truth from you.  Why did you fear me?”  My response, “Do you wish to hear our truth or do you wish me to lie to you as all the others that fear you?”  My BeLoved, “Truth, and when did you ever fear me?”  My repose,  “One because of your mistake, you behaved in a way that was not like you; thus I made my mistake and I am ashamed of my mistake, I went into hiding, like a lost scared little girl and with each lifetime since have been put to death; deaths that did not belong to me, if I just shared with you–the truth. Now that I have come into my truth-I refuse to hide; my cloak of invisibility gone-I stand and shine my full glory of love and light for all to see!”

I have come to realize that the angst that created my BeLoved and my separation of this lifetime, stems from mistakes of centuries ago.  Spiritually, I have made amends with my BeLoved twin flame; I do not know have the knows of this lifetime and can only pray that his esoteric form can truly forgive me and accept my love, my light, my powerful high priestess self. For to know me is to love me.

Much Love and Light

Magical Blessings, Natasha

Spark the Love Within

By Natasha Botkin

heart rose glow

As the full moon approached, my heart began to be a motor; as the full moon came closer the motor turned into a generator.  A generator of love.  Feeling, thriving on an essence of the most beautifully auspicious manner.  There are no true words to describe what commenced; humanistic wants marks, time, form.  This is where ascension heralds the calling of the soul and to ‘Just Be.’

Amel, my higher self-shining in her luminous, crystalline glory.  Amel, does not show up just to brag, nor say hello and it is only recently that I am able to view her glory; others saying, giving me an idea as to when I move into my higher self; me unaware as I do not walk around with a mirror, checking and rechecking to see her- feeling a high vibration of simple, graeful elegance. I feel so incredibly blessed to be a high priestess of truth, love and light.

The most beautiful moment is the accepting in truth of who one truly is and allowing this to commence.  Walking in the divine feminine has brought forth many lovely moments.  Moments that are again beyond words. I will end with…“a beauty that blossoms from the depths of your soul, a light that shines forward, onward, go my dear beautiful one.” 

Magical Blessings of Love and Light!

Natasha