Nobodys’ Thinking About You

By Natasha Botkin 

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A-ha, hopefully the title caught your eye.  No, this is not a put down about you or how much you are unloved.  Rather this is a moment of “nobody was ever thinking about you, anyhow.” – Elizabeth Gilbert quote of an unknown individual.  

Where did this stem from? The other day while I am walking along, my higher self and I are internally conversing, when I hear, “Goodness, just how old are you?” A lady had chosen in this moment, to decipher my wardrobe, but that is hindsight to her next comment, “I love when a woman has balls!”  

My response was, “Okay, you have my attention, what gives?” Upon which she repsonds, You are fearless to walk along here dressed in this manner-everyone else is dressed in workout gear.” I look at my clothing, I have on a simple red dress, gray tights, black knee high boots and my favorite brown cloak; in fact I look down right cute.  Or maybe that is what she was referring, too.  We continue to converse about how so many people are afraid to just be themselves; they worry so much about what others may say or do.  So, I ask, “Why did you ask my age?”  She responds with, “Darling, you have an air of an old soul, and yet I feel a heart of a child, you must really confuse people.”  I chuckle, “You have no idea!” 

We parted from our conversation, and my higher self chimes in, “See sweet girl, you know what you must do- now go forth with the fearlessness that you hold within.” 

I leave you with, be you: Dance as if no one is watching, jump in those puddles, have fun; because in truth “nobody was thinking about you.” 

Much Love, Much Light and Magical Blessings, 

Natasha 

 

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Begin Anew

by Natasha Botkin 

Generally my heart’s energy purrs like a well-oiled motor, and then when it turns into a massive generator, I really perk up.  One thing that resonates with me through divine channels is “that was then and this is now; wipe the slate clean.” -Amel  

This began days before my latest moments with my BeLoved Twinflame.  A beautiful moment of pure joy and love, both of us leaving behind the old.  Leaving behind the old to begin anew.  One point me making a statement, and he cleverly saying “tsk, tsk, ‘that was then and this is now,’” in a quite playful manner.

Did this appear for him, for me, for we, for us?  Begin anew.  The definition to anew isNatasha (Princess) and Roy (Knight) to begin in a new, positive way.  All of this just days before the Black Super New Moon.  As my BeLoved made this statement, my heart generator began to hum, me placing my hand near my heart and shining my love and light to him.  “Wipe the slate clean, begin anew, love anew dear Tru, for I will always love you.” -Amel

No matter the what, may you be able to wipe the slate clean.  May you be able to begin anew.

Over and over this has resonated through me.  It is not only our love that is anew; other ways of thinking, being are anew.  The message that Amel brings forth is, “Dear ones wipe your slate clean, listen to your heart and dance like no one is watching. Your dance may be individual or with a partner, all in all may your heart fill anew with love.  Dance, sing, love.”-Amel 

Much Love and Light

Magical Blessings, Natasha

The Past of One’s Mistakes Can Herald Through the Times….Release dear one

By Natasha Botkin

Natasha (Princess) and Roy (Knight)Recently, I was discussing with another how my past lives keep showing up.  Sometimes one at a time, sometimes many all at once.  One thing is for sure, the divine has me on overdrive and there are days where keeping up with human experiences are beyond overwhelming.

A week ago, I was underneath not one, but two different sinks to clear blocked drains.  As I am attempting to put the pipes back together a sob commences and the feeling of get ready shines through.  Oh no, water means deep emotions and how deep is this going to go.  It is not like we are ever given a definitive releasing map. It is, just the know that something is going to happen, and the happening will arise as needed.

How deep did this go.  Centuries back, back to when all of the troubles began for me and my twin flame. One thing happened which led my BeLoved to not act like himself and this led me to not act like myself.  I cannot say why I did not confess my sins (not really a sin–rather a massive mistake).  Instead, I have been trying correct this mistake over and over. My loving heart, shamed, how could I have allowed this to happen: I am of love.  It is almost like the movie “Groundhog Day,” except instead of reliving one particular moment.  Mine catapulted into lifetime after lifetime, trying so hard to hide this enormous mistake from my BeLoved, maybe this time, I can correct it, and thus, only to be heralded to untimely death after death.

Now, when I mention how deep–Oh it was deeper than the depths of most oceans.  Funny part about all of this, because I have to allocate the humor to something so large, is that my BeLoved in this lifetime loves to scuba dive.  One thing he taught me was no matter how intense the storm is at or near the surface, if you go down x amount of feet; yep, I have forgotten the exact amount, and yes he is spiritually smiling, as how am I ever going to learn to scuba dive, if I cannot recall the depth meters. The water will be calm X amount of feet down.

So when for the fourth time in a week, 2 clogged pipes, a clogged garbage disposal and a flooded basement. I decided it was time to give my BeLoved’s idea a whirl.  You see, my body reacted to all of this in a way that no longer serves me.  Anger exuded from me, and this left me in pain, not an emotional, a physical pain.  I have moved to my divine feminine and to feel the rage, anger, shame move through me brought out great amounts of physical pain.  My spiritual mentor helped me clear many energies, as this was not fully clearing with me–my BeLoved also physically pained and not behaving like himself…It was too deep, too intense.  So, she cleared the way for me to submerge myself into the deeper waters going down, down, down.

Dreamtime work brought forth my answers, my shame, my guilt; the worst part what will happen when my BeLoved twin flame realizes what I did.  Will he hate me, will he fear me, will he banish our love?  The beauty and surprise were “My silly girl, I have known all along, and have waited to hear the truth from you.  Why did you fear me?”  My response, “Do you wish to hear our truth or do you wish me to lie to you as all the others that fear you?”  My BeLoved, “Truth, and when did you ever fear me?”  My repose,  “One because of your mistake, you behaved in a way that was not like you; thus I made my mistake and I am ashamed of my mistake, I went into hiding, like a lost scared little girl and with each lifetime since have been put to death; deaths that did not belong to me, if I just shared with you–the truth. Now that I have come into my truth-I refuse to hide; my cloak of invisibility gone-I stand and shine my full glory of love and light for all to see!”

I have come to realize that the angst that created my BeLoved and my separation of this lifetime, stems from mistakes of centuries ago.  Spiritually, I have made amends with my BeLoved twin flame; I do not know have the knows of this lifetime and can only pray that his esoteric form can truly forgive me and accept my love, my light, my powerful high priestess self. For to know me is to love me.

Much Love and Light

Magical Blessings, Natasha

Spark the Love Within

By Natasha Botkin

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As the full moon approached, my heart began to be a motor; as the full moon came closer the motor turned into a generator.  A generator of love.  Feeling, thriving on an essence of the most beautifully auspicious manner.  There are no true words to describe what commenced; humanistic wants marks, time, form.  This is where ascension heralds the calling of the soul and to ‘Just Be.’

Amel, my higher self-shining in her luminous, crystalline glory.  Amel, does not show up just to brag, nor say hello and it is only recently that I am able to view her glory; others saying, giving me an idea as to when I move into my higher self; me unaware as I do not walk around with a mirror, checking and rechecking to see her- feeling a high vibration of simple, graeful elegance. I feel so incredibly blessed to be a high priestess of truth, love and light.

The most beautiful moment is the accepting in truth of who one truly is and allowing this to commence.  Walking in the divine feminine has brought forth many lovely moments.  Moments that are again beyond words. I will end with…“a beauty that blossoms from the depths of your soul, a light that shines forward, onward, go my dear beautiful one.” 

Magical Blessings of Love and Light!

Natasha