Internally Smacking My Head

by Natasha Botkin 

Can I just say UGH!!

I was at the Farmer’s Market.  One stand has a dear lady who loves her flowers; her clipping and arranging her flowers and her husband grumbling; her love, but he is there as one day, well he was informed he will stay.  I sat back and waited until the couple was ready…

Today, she asks what would you like; I say what do you believe me to need.  I see her reach for the lupines, and internally smacked my head.  Lupines, they are a beautiful, misunderstood flower.  They love to dance and heal with happiness and bring forth inner strength. The internal headsmack was the other part many do not know….these also bring the message of new opportunities to soon be discovered when one finds the way to have a positive outlook.  Lupine

Thank you so much angels and fairies! Positive outlook, well let’s see in the past month this has been my life….or rather crumble. 

Let’s see in a month’s time a family emergency with my autistic son deciding that looming graduation was too intense and made a rash decision that left us in crisis mode. Me battling to obtain what my son needs.  Stop telling me that I am the expert, I need help—he needs help!

Due to this I went on Family Medical Leave, the next day told that my teaching contract would not be renewed (one month prior when I looked into the harassing details that I was harboring on a daily basis-was told I would have a job–no matter what). So much for the no matter what!  I would have filed harassing paperwork, if I was not up to my eyeballs with crisis therapists, mental health therapist, etc.  The unexpected loss of my job, left me with little financially.  To top it all off, my BeLoved TwinFlame went MIA.  Seriously, he has his own stressors, but this is absurd.

A nagging feeling of trying to get my business up and going to support me.  Well, that has been frustrating! Then to really add mischief to all of this, the old lady home, really needs a new caretaker.  In my area, housing is beyond ridiculous, and I am finding traversing the world of help, is there is no help and have been labeled the working poor.

So when the lupine danced my way, I knew it was the divine’s way of saying enough.  Get off the pity party wagon that you are harboring off and on and dance sweet girl.  Have faith, trust and believe that I am doing what you need.

Remarkably, I am peacefully joyful with the latest level up.

Oh dear lupine, thank you for coming my way. I’ve placed you near the bed in hopes that sweet dreams may enter my sleeping realm, peace and comfort will return.  Be the watcher—-wait and see sweet girl, allow love to flow–you’ll be OK. 

Much Love, Much Light and Magical Blessings,

Natasha

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4 comments on “Internally Smacking My Head

  1. Jan Deelstra says:

    This is a profoundly touching and revealing post. Natasha, you are the Lupines. You too “are a beautiful, misunderstood flower.” And you too “love to dance and heal with happiness and bring forth inner strength.” Nurture you, sweet flower. xox

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Stacy says:

    Wonderful, soul-bearing post! I love your attitude & positivity. I saw seeing lupine a everywhere last weekend & didn’t know they were messengers of inner strength & positivity! Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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